1.31.2010

Luck, You Crazy Whore You.

Wish BabySkinGlove luck tomorrow on her first big video shoot. Get ready to swallow a lot of pink!

xo

1.30.2010

Baby-O-Mine

Our little boygirl-ladyboy all grown up *blush*


BABYSKINGLOVE LOVES WESLEY FLASH ALL OVER!

1.28.2010

OUR DEEPEST/HARDEST

APOLOGIES!

babyskinglove has been SO BUSY recruiting, scheming, bearing-offspring, tap-dancing, watching porn with james franco, HJ-ing, hoarding treasures, writing love notes & making friends in our new studio while painting our world the color of pussy that we've slacked a day on a blog-post!!!!

please accept this video as a declaration of our penance.


1.26.2010

19 Days, 1 Million Heartbeats To Go


Today is one of the most special days in the earth; it is not only National Rayn Day, but also the birthday sex of Ellen DeGeneres, which means wherever she is,
Ms. Dee is gettin it.


But the real reason we should all be a little more sloppy down there than usual is that today is the official start to the unofficial countdown to VALENTINE'S DAY. If Halloween is the day that normal people get to be in BabySkinGlove, Valentine's Day is the day that BabySkinGlove gets to be in her japanese cartoon alteregogang, Baby'sKingLove. We have so, so, so many plans that make our insides go all cotton candy for eachother and the most EXCITING of them is the release of our very FIRST youtube length instructional video "BSG:DIY Total Lyfe". We just can't wait for you to open our present and get all messy on the front. Here's something to put you in the mood to groove:

Bushwick Bill

O shit, I just made out with this guy...

National Rayn Day!





















Happy Birthday our most wonderful President Trecartin!


Love Always, BabySkinGlove<3

1.23.2010

let's do the fork in the garbage disposal!

IT'S CALLED YES.

Gimmie Gimmie

Attention! BabySkinGlove seeks stuff! BabySkinGlove needs your stuff! Stuff!

If you're anything like us, you're probably swimming in a sea of toys, drowning in a pool of crafts, floating in a lake of material, and lapping that ocean of props on a daily basis. Well, my dearest darling, you're in luck. BabySkinGlove aka your life raft is willing to take any and all of that gobbledy-goop off your hands. We are one at a time returning from Miami and in the midst of a video shoot. We need to build a full set and we'll take anything you have to give!

Such as:
stuffed animals (live or dead)
heart shaped anything
empty champagne bottles
red and pink paint
xmas lights
porn
scrap material
scrap wood
scrap hair (seriously)
mannequins

We can come to you in our big red bus! We'll even take you on a joyride in exchange for your donation. And you know what we mean by joy...
Please email us at BabySkinGlove@gmail.com
or call Moan at 570.460.0271


The idea is craft and the theme is RED, like the colour of Tempest Storm's hair:

1.20.2010

Ole Timey Splits Trump Drag Queen Splits

Skip ahead to about the 1:50 mark for proof that we have devolved since the '40's, just a little.

Secrets of the trade

Some people have asked me; Lily how do you get your legs so hot? What's your secret? It's this routine, that I do every morning.

Speaking of Cleavage

We thought this would be a great time to share one of our fattest fan's most wonderful emails with all of you other beautiful fatties out there. This letter was sent to us by the very fit Zuzana last night just as all fifteen of us were cuddling up with our Valerian Root:

Dear BabySkinGlove,

I've always noticed that all of your cleavage is totally amazing (all fifteen of you). When I was a little girl I used to dream about having really amazing cleavage too. Then one day I saw all of you working the streets of Miami with Andre and Amanda Lepore and I knew that all of my dreams would come true. Take a look at how much my cleavage grew over night just from that one lucky spotting of you! In order to thank you, I'd like to give all of you the chance to collaborate on my next video- How Fatties Stay Fat And How To Get Your Fat To Go Right To Your Cleavage. I love you so much. Thank you for everything!

Zuz



Keep in mind that English is not her first language. If you'd like to schedule a double-time cleavage-and-ass private workout with Zuzana and BabySkinGlove please email us for rates and availability, babyskinglove@gmail.com

1.18.2010

CELIB CELEBS 2 DO

Celebrities who have joined the new celibate craze:

1. Whoopi Goldberg
2. Nicholas Cage
3. Hannah Montana
4. Dawson's Creek
5. Mike Meyers
6. Calista Flockhart
7. Conan
8. Judi Dench
Oprah is an honorary member.

To do list:

1. Scanner
2. People Magazines
3. Hair (from trash)
4. Disney cartoons
5. Sprinkles!
6. Cattle Call research
7. Recordings for Kelly
8. Flogging
9. Kissing

Edge/Play



//what color do you flag?

1.17.2010

Fire Crotch

I died my hair red so the curtains would match the bedspread. Looks like I wasn't the first to take the rabbit route...


Buy your bunny here!

i fell in love with you

Don't feel bad, everyone has one of those days.

But when someone is mean to you, you should give him roses.

Also when someone kisses your sister, you should thank your mama.
And when someone is mean to your sister, you should drug him.
(When someone gives you roses, you should share them with your mama.)


Go ahead and kiss him, I dare you.


Goodnight to you, my beautiful deer. Someday I'll make you a beautiful wife.

1.15.2010

Happy Birthday, Charo!


let's just pay some visual tribute to the one & only Charo as today marks her 60th birthday!







i think its about time we make her an honorary member, huh? -- girls, whaddaya say?

BSG=Love Litter of Phyllis Diller and Liberace

Quickly climbing her way to the top of the BSG top five all time inspirational heroes and goddesses is old as death Phyllis Diller.

"I seem to be the queen of the gay people. I'm witty, I'm bright, I'm loose, and I wear feathers"

PhyllisDillerBabyPhyllisDillerPhyllisSkinDillerPhyllisGlove


1.13.2010

Theme Song

This is a love song because I'm in love.

If you aren't having sex by the end of this video, you need to both get your heart checked by your gynecologist and also drink some BSD...

Is there a solutions?



Does anyone have any thoughts as to why?! Woman?

1.12.2010

Pussy Press

All 15 of us had lunch with our BFF Andre and masturbated together over these! xo
(the orgasms are in blue)

this story bloodies my balls.

the girl in the pic looks kinda cute.
thank god for break-ups! for vultures like me.

The internet will be the death of privacy. If only we'd realized this in 1996.

DEATH BEAR: KILLING THE ARTS, ONE PERFORMANCE AT A TIME.

Really? I think it’s an improvement. Two performance art pieces fueled by drugs and an inflated sense of self-importance enter the same piece of shit apartment in Bushwick. Only one will emerge. This is Performance Art Deathmatch.

I think we’re a little creepy. Like if the twins from The Shining grew up to be connoisseurs of fleece vests and Vera Bradley totes.

And also! What kind of pal lets his blogger friend tag along and then writes about the whole thing himself anyway?

I would like to know how long ago they had broken up, and why this (clearly unstable) young woman STILL had a tied off used-condom!?

Right away I suspected it was not Death Bears jizz in the condom.
Then I turned quickly from that thought.

FYI: according to John Waters ‘Bear Cum’ is called ‘Grism.’

right?! and all this over a “relationship” that lasted a month?

“a skirt like a vampire” ?????
I wondered about that too! But then I read “my conscious is clear” and realized that Death Bear is illiterate.

I’m wearing vampire socks right now.

How did you get that Death Bear was “unable to take her pain away”?
Right? I mean, he did eventually leave.
And he took the stabby pictures.

Those are all her married names, dude. Yours is still Death Bear.

He was terrified, ok, but did he take a crap the size of a basketball?

Live by performance art, die by performance art. Appropriate.

Is it just me, or is the Lone Gummybear of the Apocalypse kind of a pussy?

Yes.

I’m confused. Is that a milkman, or Gay Captain Steubing?

I’m just sad that this post isn’t tagged with “META-ENABLING”, because really, if this isn’t, what is?

I used to do this sort of thing with G.I. Joe and Almost All Grown Up Barbie in the basement. Behind the water heater. I did make something like a bear (or maybe it was a vampire) noise. But I don’t think many people wanted to read what I colored about it.

Is “vampire seance” an oxymoron?

That’s an awful lot of blood for a shaving cut…

Performance Art Gang Wars. I feel bad for the parents of all involved.

I cry foul. A blogger tag-along completely undermines what I considered to be genuine about this piece.

“Tar-Baby was a doll made of tar and turpentine, used to entrap Br’er Rabbit in the second of the Uncle Remus stories. The more that Br’er Rabbit fought the Tar-Baby, the more entangled he became. In contemporary usage, “tar baby” refers to any “sticky situation” that is only aggravated by additional contact. The only way to solve such a situation is by separation. Usage with respect to a person is likely to be viewed as controversial as it may have other interpretations.”
Wikipedia entry on the subject item.

First Vampire Weekend runs into Blink 182 with their respective documentary crews and then performance wankist runs into rival performance wankists whil wanking performatively? Wow, is this entire decade going to be Man Bites Dog?
only if there is a camera crew in tow…

***You ever read something on the internet, real innocuous-like and then realize “Oh holy God, I know that asshole”? Because that just happened to me. I will take any questions about Bailey and answer them to the best of my ability, although to be honest I just have a bunch of stories from when she was infatuated with one of my friends.
*What was it like when she was infatuated with one of your friends?
*An excellent question by the human with the excellent avatar. It was, like I guess most outsider interpretations of terrible relationships, a combination of all things funny, sad, awkward and inconveniencing.
*She was way more into him than he was to her, and while I don’t want to act like I have better insight into people than everyone else, the weird thing was I was the only one who seemed to notice he wasn’t very serious about anything. But he’s one of my best friends, so I also didn’t care if he was stringing her along. Plus I think he got paid back in full by the universe eventually.
*Is she as awesome as she sounds? Who’s your friend?
*Eh, I didn’t ever and do not now consider her awesome at all, but then again she never showed this kind of energy when I knew her and every Facebook invite I get from her performance group sounds like not my scene. I don’t want to name anyone right now, but perhaps I will if Alex and Choire accept my pitch, “I Have Stories Of About An Internet Person of Note Who No One But A Small Group Of People Have Read About. On The Internet.” I think the title needs a little work. That or you can find me in Bushwick and ply me with whiskey.
*I’ll give you whiskey, name me some names. At least she’s hot. And clearly insane.
*puuuuuuuuuuuuuulp @ gmail.com Yes, that is real. Hit me up and I will absolutely blow off every safety lesson about meeting strangers from the internet. Shit, it’s worked out before.
*O hi, Davey, I know where you live. Poor David, let’s leave his heart out of this. Watch your back.

Nah, I think your first instinct was right. This guy is horrifying.

Moan clearly knows what she's doing. her talents are far superior to Death Bear's.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

I once saw this dude getting a BJ in the bathroom at the Bell House. He wasnt the bear at that time, he was dressed like a milk man. It was both gross and funny. I would normally feel bad saying something like this on the internet but since he didn’t bother to hide himself really AT ALL, I think its fair game. Anyways, point is, clearly this Death Bear/Milkman has a way with the ladies. The men of Brooklyn can take from that what they will.

Oh. So performance artists end their relationships in fucked-up and passive-aggressive ways, just like the rest of us.

A Text Relationship:

MOAN OF ARC (TO) 570.460.0271
DEATH BEAR (FROM) 347.742.2293

BEGIN: Nov 21, 2009
TO: BabySkinGlove invites you to brunch --------- --- #1 (@ Grattan st). So many promises will be kept. Moan of Arc.
TO: 4:00pm
FROM: Hi. This is Death Bear. How is 330?
TO: Perfect.
FROM: Ok see you soon
TO: Come back I brought u an elephant.
TO: Forgive me. I had no idea it was such a group of bohemians.
TO: No no no my heart rebreaks!
TO: I know you’re not a party bear. I was on the subway. These people didn’t understand you!
FROM: Sorry I had to leave. I just don’t get out of my cave much. Txt me some other time. I’ll come back soon. Love, Death Bear
TO: Next time I’ll screen the scene. Me and my two gfs are here waiting for your return if u so choose to have one. Thank you.
TO: Ok sir. Drink milk.
FROM: I promise to text you the next time I come out of my cave. I promise to receive your elephant soon. Love, Death Bear
TO: Thank you death bear. Thank you. This is not my home. U are welcome at mine. VillaVulvaDiva BabySkinGlove(.com). X
INSERT MONTANA AND CRIES TITS
FROM: What a pleasant surprise to Death Bear
TO: That’s all u have to say for yourself? 4 tits and thats it? I thought u were death bear.
FROM: What is the appropriate reaction? Im a bear. I only date bears.
TO: All I’m saying is u should b part of my catastrophes.
FROM: In what capacity? Sounds fun
TO: In every capacity, my furry friend.
FROM: You do burlesque? What do you do?
TO: Did u c our website? Google us? Avant garde historical reenactments. Work with me here DB.
TO: What are you, an aquarius or something?
FROM: I can tell by ur website pics and txts that you are creatively insane. Soooo I look forward to our meeting.
TO: Sweeeet. Coffee date. Wear the head.
TO: Now.
To: Time is limited DB. I have a meeting w GaGas ppl 2moro. Its do or die. Nite.
FROM: Come to my cave
TO: How deep in the woods is it?
FROM: East $arlem..So pretty deep haha
TO: Pay for my carriage there?
FROM: Oh my you called my bluff… Tomorrow is better for me…lets talk then?
TO: Ok Death Pussy hows 2:30 at Sweetleaf 10-93 Jackson Ave LIC. Ill wear some flair.
FROM: You are soooo charming that I cannot refuse but I have a job so I can meet at nighttime. I assume you meant 230pm? So tomorrow night…
FROM: Death Bear can come to your house tomorrow if ur around
TO:I have a shoot from 5-9 then my mama sleeps over on Mondays…no good, daddio. Call in sick? Tuesday is the new Friday. Ur not a killer, right?
FROM: I leave for atlanta Wednesday and I have plans Tuesday night. But maybe we could meet sometime Tuesday. Are you free Tuesday during the day? I could leave work for a few hours.
FROM: No I don’t kill
TO: O dear me. Option one: 9pm tomorrow night, but I must be home by lavendar hour and u cannot follow. Option two: after 5 on Tues. Option three: before 10am on tues on the water.
FROM: I’ll take one but I don’t wear heads to bars so if you want death bear he only goes to homes. Anyways I need to sleep. Lets continue this discussion tomorrow. X
FROM: Could you meet death bear in the park at night?
TO: This just turned so red riding hood. Yes, but can it be a downtown or bk park? I’m gonna dig my cape outta storage.
FROM: Sure you can pick the park and the time after 930
TO: How’s mccaren at manhattan and driggs at 9:30. Only bc it’s well-lit and my business partner, agent, & girlfriend are very concerned about all this. Ill be caped.
FROM: See you then
FROM: Here
TO: Kjust got off the train. C u in a second.
TO: I am a woman of perpetual lateness. Count to 100
FROM: Hey I’ll be in your neighborhood tonight around 10. You want to meet up maybe?
TO: Are you stalking me?
FROM: Yup
TO:O my! My first stalker! How exciting! Sadly my brother is staying over 2nite…mine be a very incestuous family.
FROM: Ooooh can I watch?
TO: I don’t know if we’re ready for that step in our relationship.
FROM: Let me do the thinking
TO: A man after my heart.
TO: Can you get me a large dead octopus?
FROM: Yes try me
FROM: In all seriousness Chinatown should have this or atleast I could sew a couple small octopus together for you
TO: That’s the sexiest thing anyone’s ever said to me.
FROM: Ha
FROM: Do you have another project in the works?
FROM: With Babyskinglove?
TO: We have two fotoshoots (hence the octopus) a nativity party, and a video something or other. How’s Georgia?
FROM: The dirty dirty is great. Everyone is drinking a lot so not too many fights. I checked out your youtube stuff, but send me some more pics if you get the chance. I was just thinking how we could collaborate. I’ll keep thinking.
FROM: If you’ve noticed most of my work thrives on going to peoples houses when called. Hijinx ensue.
TO: Look @ the bsg facebook page. I’m really in2 the dinner party idea. What’s ur email?
FROM: Ok goodapplepie@gmail.com
FROM: We can practice the food ideas then just to see how it works. I always wanted to cook a fishchicken hybrid.. Maybe a whole trout with chicken wings as I mentioned before
FROM: Whole trout
TO: Fyi: I’m a horrible cook…but I look pretty good in an apron.
FROM: Can you do dishes? Ha
TO: Like nobody’s business.
TO: You free Dec14?
FROM: Probably why?
TO: Need u 4 something. Stay tuned.
FROM: Will ur lips be there?
TO: Both sets.
FROM: I’m there!!!!!!! RSVP nate hill!!!!!!
FROM: btw you should check out the maximus perception performance art fest in bushwick taking place around that time if you don’t already know abt it…google it
FROM: I would have suggested you for the fest but I didn’t know you then
TO: Party in bedsty! Wanna come play?
FROM: Not sure…I can let ya know later tho
FROM: Is it a late thing?
TO: Well…on our way to sweet revenge soon for a guerilla xmas card shoot. I’m covered in lites & drinking so u should either ignore all proceeding texts or get in a cab. O and I have like 5 face tattoos.
FROM: Ok sounds confusing but that’s why I like you
TO: xo
FROM: I’m in union square
TO: Take the l to the g to Bedford nostrand. Just come its not that hard! 1120 bedford
FROM: On my way in 5 min or so…see ya soon.. Might take 45 min
FROM: On my way
TO: 48 Franklin Ave (between Greene Ave & Lexington Ave) sweet revenge bar
TO: Thanks for coming all the way to the pits of bk 4 me. C u thurs papa bear.
FROM: Amazing amazing lighting effects tonight. I was not disappointed.
TO: How many heads do you have?
FROM: Chicken, bear, dolphin, bunny, my friend has another bear you could probably borrow too
TO: Lovely X
FROM: Hey bailey how does tomorrow look for you? When are you free for dinner?
TO: I work till 4:30. CAN WE GET STEAK?
FROM: How abt Mexican in my neighborhood? Steak taco!
FROM: Meet at bar Phil Hughes on the ues for drink before dinner. It’s a dive. Its at 1st and 88th…meet at 7 tomorrow…good?
TO: Can we meet @ 8? Would u wanna meet @ ur place instead of a bar? Contrary to popular belief I’m not such a big drinker. Plus Ill do Harlem for you, ill do Mexican 4 u, but im not sure I can do ues 4 anyone. Ur call.
TO: I also don’t know what to wear but my roommate just said don’t text that.
TO: Or you can just call me 2 figure these things out. Im really bad @ planning these things. And I’m 2 tired 2 b text-witty.
TO: Although I do find text conversations and in general texting between genders 2 b incredibly amusing, on a sociological level.
FROM: I live at 1575 lexington at 101st street. Take the 6 train to 103rd and walk up the hill. Feel the burn. I’ll meet you at 8 :)
FROM: Apt 2 buzzer 2
TO: K. Dust off the mix tapes. I still want steak.
FROM: Ok lets get soul steak in Harlem..
FROM: I got the refund yayyy
TO: And so the story is complete :)
TO: Crack is whack. Come out and play with batshit hot.
FROM: O BAIL-E did you know I spell your name like WALL-E??
TO: Did you know I only refer to you as death bear (in my head, to my friends, or otherwise). X
FROM: haha
FROM: I’m delivering crack till the cows come home…
TO: Deliver me some crack papa bear.
FROM: Wish I could… watch the lil wayne doc with me soon?
TO: Omg duh!
FROM: Cooooool baybay
FROM: You free this week for wayne doc view?
FROM: I mean I can’t wait to see the doc… But not that I don’t wanna see you too ha
TO: I’ve got a week like a root canal. How’s thurs? Wanna be my d8 for the flux fundraiser? Or fri although that’s a long time to w8 4 lil wayne I no.
TO: Are we lil wayning this week or u find another to lil wayne with?
FROM: I just watched that shit but pls don’t see it as a reflection on yourself. I still like ur ass…How are you?
TO: I’m watching the packers. I was also trying to count my eyelashes. I can’t believe you lil wayned without me, what will I hope for now?
FROM: I accidentally met john Ahearn on the street today. He lives on my block!! He asked abt the milkman costume and told me his name. Small world, Hope that I don’t get you pregnant.
FROM: I told him abt you
TO: Have u read ur daily post today?
FROM: I don’t know what youre talking abt. Get to the point and fast
TO: The point is youre poisoning babies INSERT LINK
FROM: Thanks for this clarification.. I had not seen this.. There was a small rumor that I masturbate between subway cars I heard once. Sadly untrue!!
FROM: O fuck! I seriously just got a text from someone saying I kill babies haaahaaa
FROM: Oh I see it was damn birthday sex txting me duhhh I don’t have her number in my phone
TO: I just talked to RYAN TRECARTIN!!!!
FROM: O no did you end up having to diddle someone for the info??
TO: Yeah kinda ;)
FROM: Yayyy for ur vagina!
TO: Where was that bar we went 2 on our most amazing harlem d8?
FROM: Judi’s :) 7th ave & 135th
TO: Thanx! What u doin wed nite? BSG got ourselves an extravaganza planned…details 2 come.
FROM: Doing bouncy rides at the lorimer stop but then I’m free…sounds intriguing
TO: Hiccups.
TO: Ok ummmm lecture, ghetto, pool, ecstacy, box, gud9.
FROM: Nevermind I don’t think I can wait bc I cant control myself…But you wanna hang Tuesday?
FROM: I’m thinking I need to stop wearing these fucking heads soon. Time to reinvent like Madonna…
TO: Come over l8r and make beautiful headdresses with me.
FROM: Ok thurdays good for me bc that’s when I get paid… Byyee
FROM: Hey I thought you wanted your hair done Thursday so I made plans I think for tonight…
FROM: I’m starting to write my first art grant. Hot right?
TO: So hottttttt. R we on 4 2nite or not/my hair’s fine.
FROM: Gosh darnit I cant but don’t let this discourage you from sending me some more dirty pics or describing your undergarments.
TO: BUT WHO WILL HELP ME WIRE MY HEADDRESS?
FROM: This better be a metaphor
TO: What are you wearing? I’m in a spacesuit with nothing underneath
TO: Pink tuxedo shirt, leather leggings, lipstick.
FROM: I need that
TO: There’s 2 much space[suit] between us.
FROM: O BAIL-E I miss ur robotic arms
FROM: Maybe I can come over late tonight if ur around?
TO: Hmmmmm I gotta b @ work @ 7am
FROM: Ok later this week then
TO: Roger that 10-4. Lavender bubbles in a champagne bath. Money money money. come out 2 our partying 2moro. xo.
FROM: Where?
FROM: How’s the steakout going? I watched ryans videos and they are cool indeed!
TO: Accomplished being banned from a gallery! Hows the ride? Keepin it in the pants?
FROM: I give bouncies from 10-11 at lorimer..Wanna hang after? Give you a ride
TO: Come to our pool party.
FROM: I gotta get ready now to go but I’ll holler later… Doing bouncy warm ups
TO: Think of me during those.
FROM: Yesssss
TO: O by thee way this nite is turning out amazing.
TO: 144 Sullivan @ prince. We have drugs&luv&a muthafucking limo. Take the l well get u.
FROM: Im at home…Bouncies took my energy and also im broke till tomorrow… Lets chill then if you survive the deadly combo of drugs and limo. Plus my dog has diarrhea for reals no homo
TO: U homo. Missing rayn and pool poopoo.
FROM: Just for that I’m going to find a picture of your face on facebook and cum on it!
FROM: Right on the lips!
TO: U better pamper me 2moro. O. M. G.
FROM: Hey I’m free around 10ish…You still planning on the flux party?
TO: I don’t think so. Well, maybe. I don’t know. Yeah maybe. Probably not. okay I guess. No I have nothing to wear. Nap@5:00
FROM: What’s good?
FROM: Where you gonna be like 11:30?
TO: Here/U can come here. ima take a bath.
FROM: Where is here? Ill text you before I leave the house
FROM: got it
FROM: On my way!
TO: X
TO: What’s the performance thing called 2moro?
FROM: Maximun perception…death bear was just featured on nbc Chicago morning show as “whacky news” fucking hilarious. I’ll have to send you the youtube link
TO: Awesome/I’m so JELOUS! Death Bear:2, BabySkinGlove: 34 (one per tit plus merkin (times 2)).
TO: Should I meet you @ ur house b4 Mondays show 2 help u&pay 4 cab or u just wanna meet there? Confirm: 2 bears 1 chicken 1 fish 1 bunny
FROM: Let me check with the girl who owns the rabbit head and try to get my hands on it. That should be easy but the 2nd bearhead don’t count on that. I don’t need help with the head bc I just need to load them and unload them but sure I’ll accept donations :)
FROM: Hey you missed a chick pulling cherries out of her vag and putting them in a blow up doll…Btw the girl with the rabbit head wants to be in your piece.
FROM: How do you feel abt it?
TO: Nope. We only recruit or she has to audition which could plausibly happen Sunday. Can we still get the head? W8 R U SLEEPING W/ HER?
FROM: Yes no what diff does it make if? But no but yes we have slept together in the past but its not ongoing
TO: I doubt shes BabySkinGlove material. WE NEED HER HEAD!
TO: U @ that thing in Bushwick?
FROM: Yepp its fucking hilarious and good and bad
FROM: I think it’s a no on the bunny head…
TO: Woah. Totally lost my boner. Turn me on a little Popeye.
FROM: I’ll get ur boner back dude
FROM: I perform in the maximum perception performance art festival tonight. I go on around 7. Other performers till midnight. Come! BYOB/$2 bud. 114 forest st in bk
TO: U doin drugz in the bak w/out us?
FROM: Maybe
TO: Come out: 421 wythe ave #3. X
FROM: Cool maybe thanks for coming son
TO: Is it over? Son?
FROM: Nahhh pahtnah goes till 12 then I’ll probably just go home bc I got a busy day tomorrow. Don’t call me a homo again!
TO: I was so not going to call you a homo! Come out, we can go home 2geeeeeeeeeeetttrrrr or not ok whatev fine come out bye.
FROM: Man cannot focus with woman in the room.
FROM: You look super cute tonight as a footnote tho.
TO: :)
TO: O say hi to ariel and adina (if u talk 2 2 sisters named that)
FROM: Ok are they cute? Ha
TO: Yes indeed xxxx
TO: U wud add 2 this party a gr8 thing my darlink…
FROM: Yeah I wish I could have come out… Just got a full day with Death Bear and my real job too… and once we start having sex its hard to stop ha
TO: Buuuuuuummer. C u Monday!
FROM: Adina and ariel say wassup
TO: Awesome thanks I really wanna b better friends w them theyre way cool
FROM: You home? I have a death bear pick up at Stanhope at 4
TO: Im in lic but I should be home by 4. Text me when ur round there.
FROM: Ok I can come say a quick hello.. I have another pickup at 6 somewhere. I’ll come by tho :)
FROM: Someone gave me spoiled eggnog. A first
TO: Is that some sorta metaphor?
FROM: No I think Im just taking out their garbage.
TO: I just bought the hottest cd 2 fuck 2
FROM: What is it? Its even better than the crickets from the noise machine ha?
TO: Trey:ready.
FROM: Woah you huffed and puffed and blew my house down with that song. Trey songz right?
TO: I’m about to huff and puff and blow my own house down with that song. Got 13 more 4 u.
FROM: HA
FROM: Good job tonight! Seeya soon
TO: Thanxxxxx
FROM: There’s glitter on my dick!!! hahaha
TO: I was hoping that would happen.
FROM: Wanna meet late ish tonight?
TO: U R OBSESSED WITH ME!/WHAT TIME?
FROM: 11 ish
TO: Yes but would u b ready&willing 2 come 2 my place?
FROM: Sure ttyl :)
TO: I had to google ttyl.
FROM: Yeah I have a 15 year old cousin who texts me a lot
TO: I mite be in bedsty @ xias work l8r- u should meet me there and make sure I get home safely. Call me when ur mobile.
FROM: K
FROM: What’s up?
TO: U gud?
FROM: Sorry BAIL-E to make things awkward. Truthfully, I started to have feelings for you last night and paniced. I wish I was single and I met you. I still wanna see you though I can’t promise amazing sex haha… Bc my mind is wobbley right now… Hope ur shoot goes well tonight.
FROM: I love ur passion and that is why I liked you in the first place. I didn’t just want sex.
TO: I don’t understand.
TO: Call me back.
FROM: I’m not ready for this to end… See me tomorrow? Please… I know I’m confused and that’s a bad thing and hurts other people.. I feel awful the whole day and slept bc I was afraid that I hurt you. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.
FROM: Sorry again.. I admire you. Nite
INSERT E/B/V FUCK DEATH PUSSY PICTURE
TO: See you tomorrow Death Pussy.
FROM: Thanks for the picture. I can see you still care enuff to send the very best. I have a busy day bc I haven’t been to work in 2 days. I want you to sleepover at my house tho tonight late-ish. If this sounds crazy I can buy you dinner tomorrow if ur free.
TO: Ur bedroom privileges are suspended. U can buy me dinner 2moro; I want steak.
FROM: Sure
FROM: You want me to pick the place?
TO: Nope. Ill tell u where 2moro. gotta research. What time.
FROM: Ok. Nymag website has good reviews.round 8 is good for me
FROM: What’s good with tonight?
FROM: Also theres free beer at my job at 6..keg of Brooklyn lager..its not as awkward as it sounds
FROM: Actually I cant make that I don’t know why I even said anything…I didn’t get enuffsleep
TO: The power of the atom is outside the constitutional order of succession under the 25th amendment and outside the military chain of command.
TO: Café Mogador 101 st marks btw 1&A 8pm
TO: Obtaining and securely maintaining our bases was considered more important than the moral legitimacy of the regimes granting us such access.
FROM: Baaaiiillleeeyyy!! Transcribing war documents again?! You promised!
TO: I blame birthday.
FROM: I blame you.
TO: Oops change o plans, I 4got I h8 the middle east and st marx and I want steak: 26 Seats. 168 ave b btw 10&11, 8pm. Plus mogadors 2 big 2 cause a scene.
TO: Not that I ever cause a scene.
FROM: That’s more like it :) See you later
FROM: Maybe a few min late
TO: Ud better b baring gifts.
FROM: I don’t think you appreciate the amount of hair I shave from my body
TO: Did you put it in a bag 4 me?
FROM: Are you serious?
TO: I just got my period.
FROM: Hows it going? Play in the snow?
TO: My facebook page has been disabled: the apocalypse is near. I’m rompin and roamin in laundry; good day 4 a bubble bath.
FROM: My condolences…I can wipe you down…maybe not tonight but very soon
FROM: What color dem panties right now?
FROM: Can I come over? I’m at the morgan stop at someones apt
TO: Hmmm…
FROM: While you were hmmming I am on the manhattan bound platform rrrrr
TO: Oops.
TO: So did u cross over the trax or what.
FROM: No Im in route to east harlem. Miss ya…nite.
FROM: Are you free before you leave the city?
FROM: You take too long.
TO: I’m @ work biznatch!
TO: I’m prob not tho- the lak of facebook has me hand delivering status updates all week. Boo.
FROM: Ok I’m busy writing a book called She’s Just Not That Into You…
FROM: Ha
FROM: Am I supposed to be trying harder to date you? I don’t usually try too hard with girls but I guess I could maybe
TO: BABY I REMAIN CONFUSED
TO: Text. End. Call me after 5
FROM: Maybe I’m just not getting ur text sense of humor…I’m trying t see you and maybe you’re kidding by telling me you don’t have time and your ambivalence last night? I dunno sorry to make it awkward but I do it the best
TO: Fyi ur room is bugged and theres a camera hooked up 2 ur tv. Xo
FROM: I need a date for a nice dinner tonight with rich cousins…a girls gota eat
TO: Still in pa, ask the lesbian. Order steak in memory of me.
FROM: That girl couldn’t kiss her way out of a wet paper bag..ok
INSERT LEG
FROM: More!!!
TO: Romance cero! U+me=nope(no more)
FROM: Duhhhhhhhh but I love you anyways b****!
TO: =nuhuh
FROM: Fine but we can still collaborate on art project….ahahahaa yeah yeah yeah by
FROM: Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water
TO: I think u threw the baby out with ur girlfriend.
FROM: Art trumps relationships no???
FROM: You got me good.
FROM: You could obv use this story to make you more famous. But I'm not sure what ur intentions are at all honestly. I may send it to someone. You will get exposure. Do you want this?
END: January 9, 1010

Death Pussy -2, BSG 150 million

After years of planning, BabySkinGlove has finally staged the coup of our wet dreams.

1.10.2010

Transformerz

Even you, my most beloved Fatty, can be as beautiful as a drag queen...


If I don't watch my figure no one will!
-Judy Garland

We All Need To Work On Our Splitz



i mean like what part of the stage equipment was she i mean i can't even get to the splitz from standing i mean i can get to like here and this is like not that bad strechching mite not help me drop from the ceiling that's like hypeflexibility going on streching it out i mean i wanna know i wanna do that i can do it i can't do that you can drop i've never dropped from the ceiling...

1.09.2010

Cattle Call

This is an OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT from BSG headquarters:

CATTLE CALL CATTLE CALL

BabySkinGlove will be holding an OPEN AUDITION

email us at babyskinglove@gmail.com to set up a secret appointment.

ALL WELCOME, especially FADDIES

watch video for full details

Traumatic Experiences Gone Wild

http://hotchickspickingupdogshit.com/

1.08.2010

cruisin' reviews with brontez!


look for our super-fabulous top-secret-interview & 15 gorgeous faces(!) gracing the cover of FAG SCHOOL -- coming soon!

Part One of a Two Parter

Gud Morning our lazy/famous/glitz/God-fearing/Zen fans!
I had a dream last nite that you and BabySkinGlove made out...doable?

(One.) Gr8 news! PeeWee is back on stage! We'll be flying out for a very special private viewing next week care of Miss Yvonne. She's lending us her little pink plane. You're welcome to come along for the flight! Just send a signed copy of your pilot's license and a photocopy of your genitals, God given or hand sculpted, to babyskinglove@gmail.com. Little known fact, PeeWee used the inside of our brain to film the opening scene of his Big Adventure:


(Two.) Many of you have been very concerned about Moan's broken nail; thank you for all of the cards and fruit baskets! No more tears, the problem has indeed been remedied...


(Three.) An Assignment:
How many of you out there have had a horrible break-up? had your heart broken? been spit upon? stepped on? left at the bottom of the stoop? been down trodden and totally trodded up? We feel you...and BabySkinGlove is here to help. With St.Valentine's Day fast approaching, we have a wonderfully witchy cleansing task for all of you out there with t-shirts still damp from tears (or blood). Take a look at all the text messages between you and your last boo. If you have a fancy fone (which I know you do) there's a search function for this, figure it out. Anyways, type them all up and clear those texts from your life. Take a good hard look at your textual punctuation. Take a good hard look at how many times you refer to pitbulls or casually mention spray paint. Learn a little something about yourself because, Hunny, you are so much better looking than them it's almost retarded.

Warning it may feel like this but only for a sec:

Also, feel free to send a list of those awful exes to babyskinglove@gmail.com and we will not only ban them from BabySkinGlove love but likewise publicly embarrass them right here just for you <3


We've got so much coming up when we get back from Miamuary you're not gonna even remember how to fuck so sit tight and you know what I mean by that.


(Five.) Oh and one last note, a little plea, BabySkinGlove wants to put your logo on our bodies. We need some car dealership/gym membership sponsorship. Any suggestions, donations, or direction will be rewarded. Help us make money so you can keep riding these gud vibes!

NOTE: available for private performances and honeymoons xo

You're sweet like candy to me

JIMMY VERSUS JIMMY

so many Jimmies, so little time.


1.06.2010

NSFW

Take a quik break from internet porn to experience some internet porn, Dale style: http://www.dancefloordale.com/

BSG Finland Edition



Singapore Fling, Sin & Tonic, Kississings Anything U Want

One nail broken/9 nails going strong

This is a good time to announce Moan's minor nose corrective surgery (which didn't keep her from the party!) as emotionally funded by her good friend Ms Amanda Lapore. Please ignore all rumors that the two are dating. Moan and Amanda are not dating, that's a rumor. Moan and Amanda are friends, not lovers. They're so not dating.




This was basically us...


On another note, if you have not seen the movie NINE you should probably find yourself a boyfriend and get him to take you to the movies because nothing in the world will make you feel as gud about breaking a nail as a thickened up Fergie singing for Italian pride. And yes those rumors are true- Fergie did audition for BabySkinGlove and initially gained the NINE weight in order to help us reach our New Year's goal. Unfortunately, she wore sweats to the audition. Dun.



Big week coming up: Enemies dying left and right, from the forest to the desert. BabySkinGlove will be staying indoors this weekend (sorry paparazzi) for some much needed pampering/sacrificing. See you Sunday after dark!


P.S. A crustless quiche is not the same as a fritata.

1.02.2010

things I lost on the dancefloor 2010

1. lipstick top
2. eyelash glue
3. pack of toothpicks
4. my phone (briefly)
5. my balance

happy new year

1.01.2010

Pringles,Breakfast of Champions!

Happy New Year fatties!

If you didn't wake up at 3(pm) and don't have a couple new stitches you did not have a Gud9.

We did. Here's a little reminder if you forgot (after all those roofies, I think we forgot a thing or two too):

*RAYN! New years pixxxxxxo
*Kissed everyone at midnite including the Goddamn Lizard enemies, sorry God.
*God aka a Puerto Rican family with a little autistic girl named Ivana coming from church picked us up on Bushwick Ave and swept us away into the God-fearing nite.
*Free $150 Proseco in Soho!
*Spanx after party:no one knows how to make a str8 man uncomfortable like we do.
*Sunrise Bronx or Bust!
*This bed fits 16 comfortably.
*Corsettes are returnable.

Meet us for brunch, BabySkinGlove's treat. xo