1.31.2011

Mistresses Found

Dear Fatties,
It's not okay to cheat on your lyfe partner but it is okay to think about us while you masturb8. Along those lines, here are a couple gems to keep tucked away in the folds of stimulation 4 when you crawl in2 your puppy pile 2nite. Because weather ur bed is wide open or overflowing, there's always room for a little naughty thought and Kathleen Realness is here to help:


But don't stop there on our account! Let those wet dreams melt in2 sike-o-delik nitemares as you fantasize about giving bak to the community. If these queens need a d8 2 the Tom Petty prom, they'll know where to find us (since VillaVulvaDiva started the VillaVulvaDating advice and support column!). See you under the eyelids, nappers.

HBD JT!

while us fatties were just beginning to discover ourselves & our talents & especially what drives us, this teen star was S-ing Mickey Mouse's D and feeling up Britbrit & Xtina in sunny ol' Orlando...



his time on the Disney channel may have been short-lived but thankfully this Tennessee T-boy's hunger for fame (and talent to boot!) gave millions of tweens plenty of HJ material from his bad hair daze



to some terrible fashion decisions,



and questionable friend choices.



Today Justin has conquered his Saturn return & birthed himself into adulthood at the tender age of 30. In honor of this joyous occasion, we at BSG will be VillaVulvaDancing to the sweet sounds of Mr. Timberlake's Opus while we fantasize once more about him tickling our boygirl balls with that delicious voice and those young model muscles. Ay, papi! HBD!!!


Can U Spot the Diff?

[it doesn't get any deeper than this]

1.30.2011

VillaVulvaDirections

recently, momager has been pushing us dolls to be more open to experiencing LYFE. like real LYFE, not real(ity tv) lyfe -- which apparently includes indulging in that crazy little thing called love. Ohmygod she like just won't shut up about it! & okay we admit this winter has made some of us a lil empty-hearted but c'mon. everybody knows that deep down in there we're all just a bunch of hopeless romantics who wanna roll around in bed listening to pop music & making out with hottie cyborg girlboyz. so get into it, baby! its ZEN!

How 2 Make a Gr8 Video with $25

1. Fog machine
2. Fans (wind&people)
3. Flashlights
4. Human-sized birdbath
5. Hairspray

GUD9!

1.28.2011

Oscar Nomin8ion Nation

Okay fatties, which one of you has a flat screen we can all puppy pile under to watch the genius boychild Jamsie steal our hearts and make us bust some seams laughing, crying, and peeing at the slapstick celebr8ion America named Oscar...huh huh?! Get your tissues ready and take a peep:


1.27.2011

SNO DAY

IT'S JUST SO DARN PURDY OUT THERE NYC
No school, no work, no obloig8ions 2day lazy pants! After you've finished watching the neighborboy shovel the stoop (drool) and really commit yourself to warming the living room couch, here's a couple of ideas to keep those stitchin fingers busy.

1. Perfect your nail art skillz. Since the xmas acryllix have yet to fall, take advantage of the length and see what a little elmers and a lot of love can come up with today. Send us pictures of your creations and we'll post them just like this lil pup here sent to us all the way from gay Paris!
2. Pay some much needed attention to the goats aka cats. They give you all they can day in and day out, opening psychic doors, spraying their scents all over, keeping your feet warm and your sequins interested, it's time you did more than rub your grubby little paws on their back for 4 minutes before your nap. Make use of that old cardboard in the basement and give the cats a proper playhouse!


3. BabySkinGlove has recently taken to charting and filing each member's astrological lyfe with the help of some homemade paper and rubber stamps. Obviously you at home don't have a pile of boygirls to categorize but self-exploration is always important. Give some brain to ASTRO.COM and give this book project your all then drop it in the mail so your mama has something to put in her wallet:

Karaoke Anyone?

Did you even know my great aunt is Loretta Lynn and this song is totally about my family pride?! I'm gonna give you fatties major credit and assume you know the tune, give it a Southern whirl Doo.

1.26.2011

RAJA OBSESSION

Bitches stand back, Raja's got this!
As you obviously already know, RuPaul's third season of Drag Race premiered this week! Strengthening the war against fatphobia in America, the amateur line up of divas is not too shabby in the rear department wink wink. And BabySkinGlove is proud to confirm the rumors- yes those are our rainbow glue guns borrowed for the design room and yes we did donate the set.

So the first show was SPOILER ALERT #1 Xmas themed (probably in honor of Decemberibbean) and SPOILER ALERT #2 Raja will win this season. In fact, we have a sneaking suspicion that Raja was HIRED to win this season. Dressed head to toe in 90s and tattoos, this queen aka Sutan Amrull was dug up from the make-up department of America's Next Top Model. In drag or out, Raja is maybe the hottest thing to hit late night reality tv since Khloe took Miami. Yes the following images are from facebook, our ex-bff, butt Google's a little slow when it comes to LA fashion upd8s. SEE WHAT WE MEAN ::::: !






Raja might as well live at VillaVulvaDiva because I cannot get enough slash give enough virtual head to this person. If Raja does not win RDR, BabySkinGlove will be putting one very erectilely dysfunctional curse on all the CEOs at VH1...



1.24.2011

Hail!

As we 15 boygirls push forward with the starvation, flogging, and group waxing that's leading up to our March enlitenment, we promise to keep you in the NO. Here's some Monday inspir8ion from one of the gr8 urban shamans of NYC. She has followers ranging from Joan Rivers to Alex Baldwin to the Gillmore Girls. Totes top secret and top dollar. Go ahead and put your hot water bottle in the snatch and suck on some fresh happy dog as Mama Donna here sheds some light on the detriment that the evil electricitybulb has caused our precious society. Please also take note, she too makes her own fasscionz and I'm guessing she grew up in France or something because that look is so fresh it's gotta be European!

1.23.2011

4 the Fam

In case you were worried about Khloe, Kourtney, Kris, or Kim just before their big nyc debut 2nite, here's a quick message from the homefront:



1.21.2011

PLUG

Meta u there:

Thanx Dis

We're So Proud!

It's finally happened!!!
Lindsay Lohan's Little sister has come out of the prepubescent closet and opened wide! She proudly announces her album debut on iTunes next monday (note: this post is 8 months l8). As her spirit animal and mentor, BabySkinGlove could not be more excited about the Lohan's future and all the money this will bring to Lindsay's rehab fund.

#goodtambourineuse

Get out of bed and dance.

1.20.2011

Mourning

It's a sad day when the things we love disappear in2 the fashion abyss of the past.
We say a noble farewell to
Tao Commes de Garcons
.




Zen[ith] Prep

Ok spudheads, get ready to get zen AND get in2 shape! No, I'm not talking about couch pilates, I mean right from birth!
Check out our new guru Lena Fokina with our newest little bundles of joy!
To answer your question, YES! Cries&Cries WILL be holding a very top secret and sort of legal seminar on baby swinging yoga at our zen retreat [H]OM[o]/e on March 5-6. And if you're lucky...you'll be able to catch cat yoga too!

But if you're aching for a sneak peak and some immedi8 hi-happiness rite now, a little bit of prepwork is always encouraged. Get comfy and let us know

Hopefully you'll feel as gud9 as our #inspir8ionoftheweek Mickalene Thomas:

1.18.2011

in order to achieve ZEN

you gotta be bad
you gotta be bold
you gotta be wiser...
you gotta be hard
you gotta be tough
you gotta be stronger....
you gotta be cool
you gotta be calm
you gotta stay 2gethr

pump it loud and sing it proud!



1999 was such a good year for GIRLPOWERZEN!

1.06.2011

Confessions of a Bad Blogger

My wee little willies and doodles,

I know it's been like mega long time since we upd8d u & ur all at home letting ur little eyes swell with tears just w8ing W8ING 4 the next bloggo. We have no excuse. Decemberibbean got the better of us and we neglected our fans while we rubbed the leftover potato skins on our lips up and down giggling about suxess and plotting revenge on the boys club. Can u ever 4give us?

BabySkinGlove solemnly swears by her every last pubic curl to make 2011 the year of the blog. 2nite we bring you best ofs, highlites, costume peaks, & gossip from the past, just 4 YOU.

More to come after bonbons and shark week reruns...