Air Instruments R Bak

BSG:REVIEWE!

The very famous Jane Dickson had the ultim8 pleasure of escorting one Miss Moan to a certain shop full of candy last nite to see a little girl sing-a-songs. Little Miss Moan lived to recount such an outing (thank God).

The headline was one Miss Cynthia Hopkins, a love interest of sorts of yours truly. Much to our dismay, this was not the show we thought it would be at all, but rather a show that we hadn't thought it would be. After rave reviews of her one-woman-tragedy (something of a tribute to us hoarders), Miss Moan heavily anticip8d a dress made of envelopes with a hat made of stamps. WRONG. Her dress was fringed black. But hold on2 ur chairs, my little polka-dotted-diseases, because what Cindy had on her head mite blow your plastic erection rite str8 2 Mars...it was nothing less than a union square pre-assembled black wig made of feathers without an ounce of loose stitching in site. It get's worse, lamb-humpers, it was what was below the dress that was a mockery of our love- modest black one-inch beat-up Aunt Pam heels.

CINDY NOOOOOOO!!!

Simply put, Moan was threadbarren&overdressed for the candy place which was actually a singer/songwriter gangbang where she and her prosciutto were surrounded by adult children who had yet to discover water-4-bathing wearing jeans and NOT chewing gum. GASP. I think it is safe to say that the lot of you who read the lot of this deny themselves that (and only that) type of gangbang.

As Cindy began her girl-songs in her girl-voice Moan also noted that beneath the fringe, Cindy's quite dexatrim [insert wink]. So the forty-five minutes of autotuning went on mildly saved only by (as usual, slavophilephilers) Cindy's Xtreme cuteness.

There was however one shining performative moment cast by the nonpseudopseudolesbian and that was her indubitable handle on fake instruments. That's rite: trumpet, violin, and trambourine all by mouth and tongue alone. She was careful 2 clarify right afterwards that she was tricking us which, you know, most of those boygirls needed. We at BabySkinGlove always appreci8 the improvised. She also mumbled something about traveling to the Arctic on a ferry boat this month in order to maybe make some video work about ice caps or maybe not.

So in conclusion, if you meet her on the ferry hug her because she obviously knows a good time when she sees one, and if you see her at the boutique call us and we'll take her to a different one.






P.S. Cindy: you can always make Culture Club references in Brooklyn.