Showing posts with label vaginal discomfort. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vaginal discomfort. Show all posts

3.29.2011

STALKER (finally)




















KERRYBOO- our bff (biggest fan 4fr)- recently published ----> a mighty fatty review! of our [H]OM[o]/e extravaganza. You're welcome! Please zoom in, read on, and relive the magic...

Zen My A$$
A Review by Kerry Mitchell

I recently described them as a “queer, transgressive performance art troupe.” And they are surprisingly adorable. A grass roots art collective consisting of a number of extremely sweet young women and a couple young men, BabySkinGlove (BSG) emerged out of the pavement of Brooklyn two years ago. Since that time they have put on over 30 events, including Colonial Bushwick, The Dinner Famine, Popol Vuhlva: A Story of MezoHysterica with Mega Calderos, and others. Their work often concerns historical reenactment in a decidedly loose, amateurish, and earnest vein (“100% accurate according to the internet”) and parody of the cult of celebrity.

I first saw them in Manhattan at their Dinner Famine
performance, a not-dinner theater piece where the performers screeched at each other and threw dirt and potatoes at the audience who sat around the large table that was the stage. The arrangement forced the performers to crawl under, over, and through the audience to get on and off the table. Not something to “enjoy” necessarily, but I found them strangely charming. Their overblown theatricality and reliance on shouting were not easy on the ears and they thoroughly traumatized my date, but the closeness and tactility of the performers somehow won the day. The self-involvement, vanity, and aloofness that tends to infuse “avant-garde” art (the very term reeks of pretense) dissolved in the whispering “excuse me”s of the actors gently clambering across my lap to join the yawping chorus on the table. In this way they placed the separation of actor and audience, the “fourth wall,” at the surface of the skin, and they did not seek to tear it down so much as act upon it. Here their touch lived up to their name, as soft and transgressive as a glove made of a baby’s skin.

This latest Zen installation, part of SITE Fest in Bushwick earlier this March, carried much of the same style. The stage was their entire house whose interior and furnishings they had covered with white plastic bags. The floor was sprinkled with talcum powder. Bubble wrap runners led up the stairs. The costumes were white sheets and headdresses. The performance began from the moment I entered the door: an introduction into an intentional community of spiritual acolytes, their soft feminine drones seeping new age cant as we waited for others to arrive. Not quite funny, not near serious, they mixed their soft, angelic features with the manifest and intense weirdness of a group of friends who are willing to trash their home to put on something of a haunted house – except it’s not haunted, it’s not Halloween, and it’s not clear why they’re doing it. The audience arrived throughout the day and were led through the house in groups of one, two, or three every half hour or so. Each room demanded full participation on the part of the audience who were tied together at the wrists: primal scream therapy, growling exercises in search of totemic animals, tantric partner yoga (fully clothed), simulated extraction and consumption of an amniotic sac (a William Sonoma air-pack), vulva cookies on sticks, edible finger paints, fat whispering, chants of “Golden shower! Golden shower!” with invitation to collectively urinate (declined), and self-fingering (dry) with simulated orgasm. At this close of the performance we were introduced to pictures of Dr. Kegel, identified as “God.” This greybeard German doctor (whose name means “cone” in German) had discovered the universal sexual center of humanity that could be reached by pressing two fingers firmly up between the legs. Through running energy through one’s “Kegel” one could achieve the fullness of enlightenment. Or the emptiness of enlightenment. Or perhaps the cone-ness of enlightenment. Vaginal. Anal. None of this is implicit.

The selection of a German doctor for the conceptual center of this creepy new age satire was perfectly appropriate. The amorphous streams that make up metaphysical spirituality have a strong European component and one that is as white as the walls, floor, costumes, and performers. BSG played up this whiteness to the utmost, heightening the aesthetic of innocence and purity in voice, dress, and skin while diving as deep as they could get away with into perversion. Instructions on how to fist your yoga partner’s soul, scatalogical confessions, and invitations to lick one another were presented as therapeutic and spiritually liberating exercises. They were serious about this in their own way. But whatever they were doing, they were doing the opposite at the same time. So make of that what you will.

For future work BSG will need to address the selectivity of the audience. Judging based on the three young men in my visitor group, and with a quick glance at the visitor log, I suspect that this last show held a strong contingent of Boyfriends/Suitors/Lusters-After (BSLAs) of BSG’s milky angels who fit the mold of the girl-boy next door. Subjecting these mate-seeking hipsters to the various sensual, homoerotic exercises therefore took on the character of hazing in an initiation ritual. BSG may not be fully cognizant of the fact that these fine young men never rushed a fraternity only because in their culture it is not cool to do so. This was their chance. Fraternity, sorority, soternity, frarority – close enough. As long as they’re in.

But if you are reading this, so may the genuinely disturbed who will not be pushed beyond their comfort zones by BSG’s work, but who will, in fact, enjoy the transgression with such enthusiasm that they will wish to push it further. If the audience becomes less 20-something, hipster, a-little-verklemmt-but-open-minded BSLAs undergoing their trial-by-weird, and more 40-something, online-stalker-stranger, good-to-grope freaks, then I foresee a problem. BSG, if you are reading this, you will want to hire security for your next show. Seriously. I’m not kidding.

Also, I did not notice an age restriction on the invitation to Zen (at Dinner Famine I believe the stated and recommended cut-off was 13). Such an oversight should not be repeated. If a minor were to take up the invitation to autoerotic fingering, no matter how dry, BSG could be sued if not prosecuted. And they would lose. Seriously. I’m not kidding.

So what does it take to make the most of a BSG performance? Answer: a willingness to get materially and socially dirty; prudence in inviting others; partial abandonment of trust; a small streak of masochism; a desire to support real, weird art. The shows tread the border between risqué and risky. Perhaps this review will heighten those risks for all concerned. Which is just another way of saying that BSG’s playing with transgression and pushing of boundaries are not without risk. Then again, what is?

2.02.2011

ROLE CALL

Really guys? Really is the bra on the outside back in? But 4 real, if u ppl wanna get real zen with us, here's a peep at the underbelly of the thinking and trancing...
(in order of appearance)

BaileyBoo

Guru

BaileyBoo has no memories before the age of 18. She founded [H]OM[o]/e after a brief affair with an FBI agent in Canada, in search of a place where humans can live nameless, genderless, and without googlisms. She opens her arms and her vaginas to boygirls across the world who are looking to escape real lyfe through concentrated living and united realnessisms.

WesBoo

Scream Room

Orphaned at the age of two, WesBoo mastered the art of screaming in order to be moved to the penthouse at the orphanage. It wasn’t long before he honed his acute sense of anger management and began corralling emotions like John Wayne corralled horses (hence the cowboy demeanor). Don’t be fooled by his extreme tranquility though, there is a dark fiery passion buried deep within his somber gaze; we just hope he doesn’t unleash the demons on the newbies Hopkins style.

LexieBoo

Henna Specialist

Originally purchased as the neighbor’s Swedish mail order bride, LexieBoo has studied Henna preparation and design with some of the finest butchers and gutter punk tattoo artists of Central Europe. Her method is entirely organic and calorie-free. After leaving the neighbor’s with a secured green card, she worked at the mall one summer as a specialty soap salesperson hence her sparkling smile approach to marking your skin.

AliciaBoo

Guided Meditation

Blinded by a losing battle with pop rocks and a Chihuahua in early childhood, AliciaBoo turned to mediation to redefine her senses. Her lyfe work is dedicated to the destruction of technology hoping that eventually everyone in the universe will reject sight in solidarity of her blindness. Her seemingly sadist trials are demonstrated in her past experiments with broken glass labyrinths, rusted razor labyrinths, and most recently cat feces string labyrinths. Don’t be fooled by her height, AliciaBoo is in her late 70s and has preserved her looks solely by sleeping 19 to 22 hours every day.

GeorgioBoo

Labyrinth

Like the white décor or the inflamed vaginas, GeorgioBoo is a staple in lyfe at [H]OM[o]/e. It is not known when GeorgioBoo came to [H]OM[o]/e or how or why. We do not know if he is literate and no one has ever seen him use the bathroom however he lives happily, simply, and zenly as a tool in our sacred goal of universal enlitenmemt.

VivaBoo

Sounds of the Universe

The longest member of the [H]OM[o]/e tribe, VivaBoo began studying the sounds of the universe during puberty at the zoo with a single drum and a whole lot of gyrating. She has interviewed over 10,000 animals in her lifetime, channeling the psychic powers of the future they each posses; sometimes even going as far as eating the animals in her trancelike state. Her grasp on animal language extends beyond human understanding. She has been known to lend her body to a spirit animal from time to time for supreme voyages of enlitenment. She has not left the [H]OM[o]/e grounds since the early 90s.

LiaBoo

Pee Auras

Raised in a polygamous/Mormon home, LiaBoo has a psychic sense of the warmth that lies inside you. Just by smelling the afterdrip of your urination, she can tell you exactly how many sexual partners you have had, the length of your father’s scrotum, and at what age your children will die. Trained by her six late mothers, LiaBoo is the only known living Pee Aura specialist in North America. Be aware, the grace and ease at which LiaBoo defines aura colours and lyfe stages has brought many to tears and a few to instant death.

AnnaBoo

Detox

AnnaBoo began her lyfe with [H]OM[o]/e after retiring as the lyfe coach of Beyonce, the former [H]OM[o]/e household drug dealer. Through her own experimentation and research performed of hundreds of “volunteers”, AnnaBoo has discovered the secrets to instant detox. With a particular knack for balancing herbal supplements with bodily waste, she is the face of the fite against Bulimia and Fatfobia in [H]OM[o]/e. She is also responsible for keeping all the boos in perfect shape.

DixieBoo

Non-Invasive Plastic Surgery & Fat Whisperer

Trained in the most expensive exclusive resort communities in Germany, Italy, Denmark, Bulgaria, & France (please excuse the confusing accent) DixieBoo flies into [H]OM[o]/e weekly to wrap and whip all of our members. You will not see techniques like this successfully practiced anywhere in the universe. Not for the faint of heart, DixieBoo can move, restore, transform, and kill any unwanted deformity known to [wo]man. (If rash or bleeding occurs please contact your doctor immediately.)

GritzyBoo

Kegel Korner

A native New Yorker, GritzyBoo knows the inner workings of vaginas like no woman has ever known vaginas in herstory. Originally interested in breast-feeding then clitoral reconstruction, her vaginal blessings are the Saint Anthony of the zen community. A pleasure to listen to, GritzyBoo will open doors in your undersides that your didn’t even know were locked and we have buckets on deck just in case. Private sessions available upon request for all genderless peoples.

ErinBoo

Partner Tantric Yoga

ErinBoo found [H]OM[o]/e after deciding to leave her profitable street-walking career in Detroit. Her tantric skills extend beyond the yogi hoopla and are, as you can tell by her colourful descriptions and outer dialogue, deeply influenced by her real lyfe experience as a 1st rate hooker. She is particularly concerned with the relationship between the shakra of your anus and the shakra of your thumbs.

FreakBoo

Steam Room Dude

FreakBoo never officially took the oath of [H]OM[o]/e enlitenmemt however through his valiant efforts of breaking into the community naked on several occasions over the course of a year, he is allowed to partake in the lyfe at [H]OM[o]/e so long as no one is touched. His commitment is outwardly displayed in his determination to literally grow his own vagina.

JulieBoo

Baby & Cat Yoga

Preceding the trends splotching the newspapers today, JulieBoo is the epitome of caregiver. Her tough love techniques are littered with hugs and kisses. After the accidental murder of her own family, JulieBoo turned to borrowing friends’ families in order to develop her controversial yoga routines. But our research proves that a coma is just another word for a much needed nap!

BuzzBoo

Massage Circle/Cool Down

What better way to indulge in zen than with a good old-fashioned massage? BuzzBoo proudly visits over two hundred spas every year to observe progressive massage on non-progressive people to bring up-and-coming pleasure t o the progressives at [H]OM[o]/e. Touching is an essential part of connection here at [H[OM[o]/e and BuzzBoo has carefully coordinated our reactions and interactions with hit chants from the past five generation. BuzzBoo’s side project is endorsed by GarageBand.

1.27.2011

SNO DAY

IT'S JUST SO DARN PURDY OUT THERE NYC
No school, no work, no obloig8ions 2day lazy pants! After you've finished watching the neighborboy shovel the stoop (drool) and really commit yourself to warming the living room couch, here's a couple of ideas to keep those stitchin fingers busy.

1. Perfect your nail art skillz. Since the xmas acryllix have yet to fall, take advantage of the length and see what a little elmers and a lot of love can come up with today. Send us pictures of your creations and we'll post them just like this lil pup here sent to us all the way from gay Paris!
2. Pay some much needed attention to the goats aka cats. They give you all they can day in and day out, opening psychic doors, spraying their scents all over, keeping your feet warm and your sequins interested, it's time you did more than rub your grubby little paws on their back for 4 minutes before your nap. Make use of that old cardboard in the basement and give the cats a proper playhouse!


3. BabySkinGlove has recently taken to charting and filing each member's astrological lyfe with the help of some homemade paper and rubber stamps. Obviously you at home don't have a pile of boygirls to categorize but self-exploration is always important. Give some brain to ASTRO.COM and give this book project your all then drop it in the mail so your mama has something to put in her wallet:

2.25.2010

remove wet swimsuit to avoid yeast infection

Our Dearest Babies,


We know that the winter is a long and spiteful season; cabs are a must, no suede, booty shorts or stilettos in the snow, and where the fuck areyou going to put that goddamn chinchilla coat? Your loyal cat calls become scarce as nasty thoughts freeze in route from groin to tongue, and someone needs to let ya'll know that "you're beautiful, mami."


We know you're wet and tired and not in a good way, so let us shine a little warmth on you our Nor'easter enduring lovelies of Stuy and Shwick and give you the total surf report from the Big Island.


Ladies it's time to get that Brazillian, this is the Bikini Zone!


gud9