these are our people

Jean Paul Goude(9)

oldie but gud9ie

well gee-golly-shucks - thanks ben davis at artnet.com!

"Late Wednesday evening, the clamorous performance art troupe Baby Skin Glove stormed into the galleries, a tribe of women in tap shoes (recent Pratt grads, I was told), chattering away, groping people, demanding attention. That was the essence of their performance -- a kind of exaggerated acting out of an obsessive, theatrical need for attention. Elizabeth Dee said that at first she had been scared of Baby Skin Glove, because the group had been stalking one of her artists as a performance, sending vaguely unhinged text messages. But then, she said, she changed her mind. "They’re actually quite committed to their art," she said. "They’re always on." Observing them, I somehow was put in mind of the kinds of tribes kids formed in high school, inventing group identities and adopting modes of dressing, rituals of recognition and so on -- a way to draw strength and support in a hostile atmosphere."

XXX-POST

25 CENTS A MIN(IKIDUNOT).

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

in

tha

mattress.

The 420 411

Aloha Beauties, Bikini Zone here.

Over spring break we were spending a lot of time on the beach with Kid Cudi and he promised he would write us a song as long as we promised to do two things: 1. direct the video and 2. debut said video on Baby Skin Glove's blog. Like, duh. We would have done that even if he didn't write the song for us. Which he did. He so did.

Dogs Gone Gaga

Jesse Friedin is a goddamn genius.

YEAH BOY!

happy birthday to the original HYPE MAN,

FLAVA FLAV

(i bet you didn't know that

Flavor of Love was where us BSG girls first met!)

Bon Jane

image courtesy of the NYTimes

Our lovely and talented Bon Jane's photo was in the Times' review of Marina Abramovic's; The Artist Is Present show currently at MOMA.
Congratulations!
xoxo

Performance Art Preserved, in the Flesh

Your Piss is Like Diamonds

SURF REPORT

In the islands there is an ancient tahitian proverb that states that a vagina flapping its wings on the island can the be the cause of a vaginal pink art video in Brooklyn. We can only hope that we were in some way part of that vagina.

And please girls, be cognizant of how violently you flap your labia, your pussy power has already caused one tsunami on this island.

Mahalo Ladies.

BSG:DIY *dun

Last night my 6 yo couzin called and sed

"im not sure dere's NE1 out there in the world like me".

It was just the impetus babyskinglove needed to get over her

emotional bloq and figur out computerz.

W/o further ado:

Plus this complimentary musiqvideo from Gucci Mane:

Off to the Bikini Zone

Hey! Look!

"i just wanna be, i just wanna be successful..."

Meanwhile, far east of the festival's axis on the Queensward end of Stanhope Street, the ladies of BabySkinGlove were putting on an unexpected blowout of a performance as Colonial Bushwick. Modeled on the other Williamsburg, this house tour disoriented and unnerved visitors with a peek into an imagined colonial household with poorly concealed skeletons in the closet. The elaborate live-in performance was carried off with straight faces and a personal touch - too personal, really - and proved that the far corners of the festival had just as much to offer the intrepid.

thnx paul coxxx! (txt & photo creditz)

//more to cum, obvs.

In Memory of the Village Idiot

R.I.P. FreakButt
March 19 1584-1610

Brought 2 u by our Sponsors- The King's Royal Slaw Inc.

Can't w8 4 Colonial Bushwick...us either! He's a run down of who, what, and how. Feel free to brindle your caddis and kneed your mason while reading these. See you in the Dark, xo bsg

---

TOUR GUIDE

Like many tour guides, Miss Moan’s motivation lies in Jesus. After a tumultuous childhood bouncing from foster home to foster home, a minor meth addiction, and countless abortions, Miss Moan found her niche in colonial enthusiasm which she believes Jesus hand-delivered to her in a routine conjugal visit with her ex-husband.

INVENTOR

The inventor was found in the woods last Easter, naked cold bright-eyed and mumbling. With no known family and no proper identification, BabySkinGlove has adopted her as one of their own. For safety (and legal) reasons, the inventor lives in the basement and, through the grace of God, is shaping the future. It is suspected that she was a prisoner of war because of her uncanny ability to master any language. Her way with words is as close to Godliness as a fat cow in January.

PRIEST/MAYOR

As the leader of the Colonial people both of soul and legal matters, Fr. Flash guides the BSG colony through the hardships of the times. Fr. Flash spends approximately fourteen hours a day, seven days a week translating the Bible from Old English to New World English. Fr. Flash’s intentions are entirely pure. There’s nothing scandalous or questionable about Fr. Flash’s religious path. Any young boys interested in following in Fr. Flash’s footsteps are encouraged to have a private meeting with Fr. Flash in the confessional after the tour.

WIGMAKER

The role of the wigmaker in Colonial society was similar to that of the peddler or the gypsy. The wigmaker roamed the villages providing families with beautification. She is a lowbrow woman of the world, once married to a sea captain who traveled far and wide to bring her the finest European hairs for custom wig making. Since the disappearance of her husband, the wigmaker often slips into tongues. She has a certain way with people, especially men, especially elderly men, especially wealthy elderly men that BabySkinGlove finds just adorable.

PATRIARCH

He’s the man of the house. The strongest, wisest, fairest, and meanest of all the generations; the Patriarch is the glue that holds it all together. He can’t spell, he can’t count over ten, he can’t even touch his toes, but this man is the closest thing BabySkinGlove will ever experience to JC. A Harvard elementary school graduate, Xia could make a field of cabbage grow with a toothpick and two soft rocks. But watch his eyes when he reads you the Bible…that’s right, it’s all memorized, not a twitch of a pupil will be seen because, your mother was wrong, reading isn’t important.

WET NURSE

The Wet Nurse very desperately wanted to have her own children however because of a slight accident riding huggies on a Ducati and a possible sex change, Lily could not bear any progeny. But by some God-given miracle, BabySkinGlove offered Lily meaning to her life through childcare. Lily not only cares for the real live children of the seventh generation but the dolls and animals as well. She loves nothing more than holding things to her cold bosom while weaving, a skill perfected in Colonial times.

QUILTER

Slightly obsessive compulsive, little Katie is in the prime of her innocence and ready for picking. As she waits patiently for her virginal bed to be bloodied, she has taken up quilting for charity meaning quilting for the children of the seventh BabySkinGlove generation. Hopefully within the year she’ll be knitting herself some new clean sheets and some woolen diapers.

INDENTURED SERVANT

Seeing as how selling your body for scientific experiments doesn’t pay that well, Dixie has turned his sadomasochistic hobbies into a career. He enjoys emptying the chamber pot and bathing in used bath water as well as spending a lot of personal time in the barn with the animals. It is rumored that he’s having an affair with the tour guide but she denies all allocations.

VILLAGE IDIOT

Due to unforeseen circumstances, the village idiot cannot attend. He fell into the well trying to retrieve a stone he dropped, cracked his skull and drowned.

MILKMAID

Like the wet nurse’s Holy Spirit or the goat’s Virgin Mary, the milkmaid is the meat of BabySkinGlove’s health. She loves analogies. Montana was a stowaway on one of the trade ships coming in from the Dutch Colonies. On top of her ability to carry up to two hundred pounds of milk on her shoulders, her braiding skills are breathtaking. Although she has resisted the persistent attempts from Fr. Flash to join him for Biblical studies in the confessional, we’re sure she’ll see the light soon. And who knows what that milk mustache is made outta.

ANIMALS

Meow. Hiss. Roar. (Cluck.)

BRITISH ROYALTY

The royal representative from our official sponsor, The King’s Royal Slaw Inc., Ojay has spent the past thirteen years perfecting the powdering of his periwig. As if he could get any more divine, you can tell by Ojay’s glow that his education precedes his reputation, which likewise precedes his colonialization.

SCHOOL TEACHER

Just like BabySkinGlove, Colonial people didn’t do math so good so thank goodness for Mrs. Jada, the local school marm. Big bosomed and heavy on the ruler, Mrs. Jada even knows how to do long division! She doesn’t tolerate any sort of misbehavior in her classroom. If your studies are not done after your chores, Mrs. Jada will not hesitate to relieve some of her misplaced aggression on your wrists or kneecaps or perhaps deeper down in the unmentionables.

SICK PERSON

Poor little thing…if it were modern times, we would have medicine and humidifiers and proper nutrition, but in Colonial times, the premature babies died young. Little Kathleen will never be able to work in the fields with Papa, she spends day in and day out sweating through cholera, typhoid fever, tuberculosis, pneumonia, and delusions of grandeur. Please do not breathe in the infirmary; BabySkinGlove is not responsible for any deaths later this week.

WOODSMAN

Long before she was even born, little Kathleen was betrothed to the neighbor’s son the Woodsman. Unfortunately, when she was born a runt, the families knew that this marriage would be a lost cause and an heir to the estate would be no less than a miracle. But the Woodsman is a kind and loyal man so as a service to his betrothed in-laws he remains a loyal fiancé and will remain in unconsummated purgatory with Kathleen until her final days.

PAGAN

A real life injin, Viva is no less a pagan than a witch! Tell her your problems, heal yourself with her answers. I wouldn’t recommend hitting the peace pipe, but Viva has been known to cure everything from AIDS to cancer. She came to us from just over yonder where something happened involving a fire or a casino or something, but as far as BabySkinGlove can tell, Viva is a dictionary of the Old World where spices and diseases were invented. Just like in modern times, Colonial people judged others by their skilled outsides and not the foreign illiterate soul-damned insides.

ENTHUSIASTIC TOURIST

Gee golly gosh Colonial life is exciting! There are so many things to think about when gchat is down and cell phones are locked up! If she didn’t see it with her own eyes she wouldn’t believe it either!

Ridgewood proudly presents: Colonial Bushwick

The time has come, the walrus said, with axe and plough at hand...

Come join BabySkinGlove as we travel back in time to

COLONIAL BUSHWICK!!!

From sun up on Saturday March 6th thru sun down on Sunday March 7th, BabySkinGlove will be living at VillaVulvaDiva Studios as a Colonial Family. Tours of the house will take place every hour on the hour during daylight all weekend. Saturday nite there will be an Ordinary Feast with live slaughtering lessons and peas porridge hot. Come share in the joys of meeting a real live wigmaker, wet nurse, patriarch, indentured servant, and more!

Suggested donation seventy-five cents.