12.20.2010

Blood Moon: It's That Time of the Millenium!



2night is the beginning of the end. For the first time in like, one million years there will be a lunar eclipse coinciding with the winter solstice. This is bad news for human people, but great news for BSG, due to our high population of Watchers of the Rapture. How else could this mixtape maven be named Time's lady of the year? Or this match contracted in heaven start having doubts?

12.09.2010

Revewes

2 SHOWS DOWN, 2 2 GO
SOME CROWD HIGHLITES:

*I'm so hungry.
*I'm so confused.
*I'm so terrified.
*Everyone is in on the conspiracy.
*I found potato chips in my pocket this morning.
*I'm thinking about going red.
*The Apple references reminded me of the universe.
*I miss my mom.
*I think they have a chicken under there.
*How many people are in here?!
*It's obviously over.
*I think I'm gonna be sick.
*It definitely wasn't boring.
*You're all a little bit crazy.
*Aggressive . . . in a good way.
*Epic.

SECRET SHOW ADDED TONITE @10PM FOR TWO SPECIAL GUESTS

COME EXPERIENCE!

11.30.2010

today's morning wood is brought to you by:


check out this new video for her track, "the way you love me," which features beautiful women holding huge guns, some DAMNGUD dance moves and a whole lotta pussy-talk.

c'mon - start your day right.

11.23.2010

Happy Turkey Week

Put a little xtra effort in2 dinner with the folks this year boygirls, xmas is is comin and we all want new macboox! And hey, let's be productive with our leftovers...





HAVE A WONDERFUL TURKEY WEEK FATTIES!

11.18.2010

let's take a moment to pray

On a scale of one to ten, one being farting at the dentist and ten being sponge bathing your grandparents in a public pool, how uncomfortable do these videos make you?

1. Okay, this one isn't so bad, just makes you wanna have a proper meal with the squasher and have a chat about her childhood:

2. Speaking of childhood, if this one doesn't rot your brain and fill you with shame for Cali then I don't know what will:


3. Oh this one's not creepy at all, unless you're an oxtail:

11.17.2010

Tip of the Day

There's no better way to start your day than with a fresh new outfit. We learned that the hard way. Any look is improved with some hatware, we guarantee.

11.16.2010

Offspringal Suxeses

What do BSG and our darling boygirl Jamsie have in common this month? O yeah! It's our love for privileged children! That's right internet, it's Tavi time...

Obviously the faacionz youth guru Tavi Gevinson got our memo about Decemberibbean = witches, Tokyo, & Grey Gardens capes:



Typical, trendseekers all over the world can't w8 2 b as non-profit as we are and jump on the big brother/big sister do-gooder and read good stuff train. Before you know it, everyone in Brooklyn will be walking around with their own stylish set of teens.

So w8, back it up, you didn't get the memo about Decemberibbean?! 1st things 1st >>> get on our mailing list suckers babyskinglove@gmail.com! Now, as a follow-up to Miamuary, the warm weather's coming early this year and we're bunkering south for the cold with Decemberibbean and we've got our 1st Diva-lay-ova in Tallulah's good ol' Alabama. Here's some advice from our Human Resources Dept about Southern gallivanting, if you haven't been contacted directly already:

1) Known thine enemy. Heart of Darkness was written about an unfortunate explorer who went south. It is encouraged that you read, or reread, his biography.

2) If you hear a banjo, go the other direction. Banjo players are the sirens of the south.

3) Decrease your walking speed by 60%. You will stick out if you walk at a northern speed.

4) Don't speak unless spoken to. It is perfectly acceptable to hit women if they speak out of turn.

5) Watch out for alligators. They're like deer down there.

6) Take 2-3 Tums with every meal. The southern diet consists solely of fried food. They will know you don't fit in if you get indigestion or heart burn.

7) Develop a taste for free form jazz music.

8) Mentally prepare yourself for the common practice of incest. If you witness a mother-girlfriend and a son-boyfriend just smile, walk away, and pop more Tums.

9) Bush is God, Walmart is his church.

10) A high school diploma is a medical degree down there so DO NOT go to any doctors.

11) If you don't know what happened on the last king of the hill episode then don't bother engaging in conversation.

12) John Deere invented the South. Or at least that's what they believe.

13) Nascar

14) Always carry a gun, This is not a safety thing. It is against the law to be without your gun.

15) Always carry an empty plastic bottle with you. This can be offered as a gift to a southerner as a spit cup for their chewing tobacco.

16) If you find yourself bored grab a knife, piece of wood, and a rocking chair and start whittling.

17) Don't accept drinks from stangers. You WILL end up in mexico.

*In the case of court, note these claims were dictated, not written. No southerners were injured during the completion of this list. We heart Alabama and all of her muscular offspring.

11.14.2010

Sesame Street Upgrade

Thank goddess this is what my 13-18 year old cousins are growing up with:

What's hotter than TEEN MOM and gay clubs on Glee you ask? TEENAGERS!!!! BabySkinGlove welcomes her newest little tween-offsprings to the club. Watch out world, we just got a little more illegal and a lot more full of freaks (rumors are true, we have a married person too...) So brush off your NDHS blazer and fill those lungs with some pep rally spunk, Decembarribean is gonna be all about reliving puberty and Lindsay Lohan's Little Sister again!

11.13.2010

INTERNET!!!!

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET WORK DONE WHEN YOU KEEP GIVING ME THESE GEMS?


(didn't you hear? red hair is so in right now.)



oh hayy guess what else chk it out! our fave t-boys amos and rocco just made OUT MAGAZINE'S OUT 100 2010 list. fuck yeah, FTMS!

no but seriously kids -- if there is one thing that you watch this weekend on the idiot box that is your macbook, please lord in heaven make it this:

we are are just ohsodelighted that kanye decided to include our best ballerinas in his video. plus we totally gave him the inspiration for that dinner party scene!

11.09.2010

DON8ION$

VILLAVULVADIVA IS NOW EXCEPTING DON8ION$ 4 THE DINNER FAMINE.BABYSKINGLOVE NEEDS ALL OF THESE THINGS:



THANK YOU I LOVE YOU

11.07.2010

FLY TIX

FATTIES, MAKE LOVE TO OUR BASS LINE AND
ONLINE NOW FOR OUR UPCOMING DINNER FAMINE!

WE BEEN GONE 4 2 LONG NOW IT'S TIME I TAKE U BAK

GOT THAT BOOM BOOM IN UR DRAWER, GOT UR SPEAKERS BURNIN ROAR

FALL BAK

~~~U JUST GOT AN HOUR FATTIES~~~TIME 2 WAKE UP FROM UR DISCO NAP~~~

11.04.2010

Proud Mamas

Introducing the next generation of asymmetrical love muffins! Watch out because she's hit double digitz and we all know it's down-hill from there. This bitch has BSG quality written all over her back-up dancers. Notice the lung strength, the root exposure, the EZ pants, and the creepy boys lurking up above...it's basically our youth on tv all over again.

Thank you Ellen for wearing that amazing scarf... o and gud interview. Copyright that neckbrace because tweens all over America will snatch this idea up faster than a larder over a goat barn:

But hey Miss B, Willow's still a far second to Shaquita:

10.28.2010

Pussy Dreams

In case you were thinking about being a this for that day that's like the poor man's everyday for us
()
here's a quick powerpoiunt from our young kitty enthusiast, wise beyond her years:

10.27.2010

Verbs Can Be Queer 2

Take action boygirls...the squares have our pronouns, don't let them take over our verbs next! It's just not fair, it's gone 2 far, b4 u know it those squares will be making us regularize our insulin abuse and limiting seasonal depression highs.  In case any of you were getting ur winter vocab ready, learn sumthin about rimes from white girls who speak English real gud:

10.22.2010

Hot Daughter Alert

Be always careful, whiplash affects even the most prepared children scouts. Break out ur heart hair and jumpsuits because this one is going on the fridge:

10.19.2010

Glitter Pillow Activities

With costumes on the brain and candy in hand, no pair can define Halloween better than babies and showgirls! Here's a couple exciting announcements to keep you in your panties as the landlord kicks up the heat... I know we took out sweet time to announce this but we had to really revel and recover from celebrating 15 YEARS OF SHOWGIRLS! Our gud friends at [insert unrecognized blog name here] were sober enough to type up all those lyfe lessons that Jessie Spano brought 2 our youth with 7 IMPORTANT LESSONS LEARNED FROM SHOWBOYGIRLS! We also went ahead and read the fine print 4 u and we in advance disagree with Mr. Milk's lesson #8: Don't trust strippers. Shame on you, lactose-wed!

But don't stop your interwebgyrations there, here's a gr8 way to kill 79 hours just like BSG did (collectively). It's that time of the month, ovul8rs! Gap kids competitions! Don't think we missed out on the fun, Can you spot the BSG wee?

10.15.2010

Sigh-Kick Messaj

Dear Rayn,

It's been like WAY 2 long. We heard you'd be in town next week and we totes require ur presen(ts/ce)! Guest wing completed, beds made, come on ova. We'll poke some smot, cat some pets, and manipedi everything just like in historical times. We dug out this little note you sent us back in 1989 when we needed some molding:




Thank God 4 Nigeria keeping us P-fucking-C. Speaking of which, who's in2 getting more email so they look way more popular...EVERY1 SHUD B!

Anyways, we know ur super duper busy but we've got all the cats lined up and w8ing which according to the NYTimes is like totally normal and all of u poodles & pits out there can just chill because and I quote, cats are the shit. Cat people have become symbolic of a community eschewed and a hyper-engagement with oneself. They represent the profound danger of growing so independent in New York that it’s not merely that you don’t need anyone — it’s that you don’t know how to need anyone.

tabbies&tuna&teardrops
ur everything fan,
BabySkinGlove

& all of our fans full of positive messages:


10.14.2010


A few years ago Bjork, Gaga and Courtney Love all got together to kiss the Blarney Stone and to be fitted for matching corsets. Some absynthe was involved, things got out of hand, and now BabySkinGlove is stuck rearing yet another of their pre-me concept babies. Kerli is currently running amock at HQ, preparing the cats for takeoff and RUINING our best petticoats.

At least we've been able to teach her a few things about being nuts and looking it:









And as a special treat, one of the best comments ever committed to youtube:

schoolgirl9078
3 weeks ago 103
my late sister was always the one into this kind of stuff. in the past month and a half since her death, i'm finding myself liking her interests more and more. i think my sister is living on inside me.

10.06.2010

SHE'S DONE IT AGAIN!

our dearest darlingest jamesie sent us this lil tidbit of news about his lyfe today.


oh boo we are so proud of you finally coming out on the cover of the new TRANSmag CANDY!!! what's CANDY, you ask? well its only the "the first fashion magazine ever completely dedicated to celebrating transvestism, transsexuality, cross dressing and androgyny, in all its manifestations."now we HAFTA get our little paws on one of those 1000 issues -- mmmhmmm! i wonder if the Original Plumbing boys know about this?

this track goes out to you, babyjamesie. you're one step closer to our team!!! now SING IT OUT AND PROUD!

Nailed It!

We're bleeding hearts, what can we say. We care about maps in Iraq and such as well as education in Chinese countries. Here's a clip of us competing in a recent drag ball:

9.25.2010

Fat Camp Blues

It's not just you, we all feel the sweater w8 packing on and now that we're thru with summer and graduated our respective fat camps almost six lbs liter total, we're here to help you keep that number in the 3 dijits. Please refer to our helth gurus in times of need:


Newsflash: Back fat is in.

For more information about HELTH, come on down to the seminar
(k)no(w)2
Greenpoint Open Studios
Sunday Oct 3 7pm
Book Signing @YES Gallery, Greenpoint Friday @8

And next week, don't 4get 2 check out some of our fan clubs beautiful tributes to helth:

9.21.2010

Butter Lesson 101

After years of searching, BabySkinGlove has finally loc8ed the little babies we gave up for adoption almost a decade ago. I guess this answers the nurture versus nature question. We couldn't be more proud (although we're having trouble understanding these boygirls with the atrocious accents they're fussin with)!


FROM THE VAULT

MOAN & BIRTHDAY, AGE 14.

9.18.2010

Here's 2 Stoopit!

SJP called and wanted to tell us about her weekend, this is what we learned:

BAD ART is now casting!
OMFG BSG is SO gonna win this year!

...and then there's this:
where moaning becomes an art
Our choice song? Duh.