Because!

Us zen people sometimes say it rains in the sunshine because I'm about to inherit a beach. So don't worry all you Annie-thinkers, your time is coming and it all starts with the Queen.

Meta Monroe

There's a new movie out about Marilyn Monroe but DO NOT TELL NE1!

I will not be a spoiler alert but it's ASHAME of a movie...

ASHAME of a movie by definition has nothing to do with the actors or the execution of the plot (both boringly successful) but rather the integrity of the entire concept. Marilyn Monroe is the same person as BabySkinGlove and if this movie were made about me post death I'd be recollecting my cremation bits just to take a nap.

This movie is what happens to good people when a bunch of old horny men try to redirect an important plot. It's just kinda ASHAME. My Week with Marilyn is just kinda sorta an exploitation of her exploitation which makes it kinda sorta meta and therefore blog worthy.

I'm not sure who you're supposed to empathize with in the film, every character is swallowing diamonds, but it was definitely set in England because some genius in production knew it was ASHAME.

Note: good d8 movie, plenty to talk about & lots of cleavage.

POP POP

RIP JFK, JACKIE O, & ANDY WARHOL

JFK ASS. (in technicolor) REVEALED 2NITE

@Artery Gallery

(singin this will be the day that i die)

SEEKING NON-MINION

We have some really big ideas on our pl8s @ the moment and some really hairy animals in the oven.

So quick show of hands, who wants to have the best summer ever? O! You! Well! Here's how you can:

WE NEED AN ASSISTANT

Check out the ^^^ craigslist add and spread the word. You should be at least as cute as this:

And here's our love moment of the day featuring one of our favorite hats...

Bedroom Speak

We woke up this morning dry as could be thanks to this one big happy family who sang us to sleep last nite! Don't fite the urge to sing a long.

Check it OUT

Please follow these instructions for the proper way to use the Mac store.

Horney Much?

sum things 2 consider when choosing a m8:::

EGG DAY

HAPPY LONGEST DAY OR SOMETHING!

So the winter blues is finally over and you can keep lenting strong because your eggs (grocery store chicken not in-ovary) will stand on their edges today! I'm so dead serious this is not a trick! Last night (in case any of you aren't witches (what?)) we saw the moon closer than she's been to earth since Cindy was covering Vogue and tonight (EQUINOXXX) you can balance an egg on its edge. Wow, this world is plain fatty.

And after the eggs, give your nails a buffin'

xo

Upd8: She's a Pop Eater

Nicki was 2 upset 2 talk about it but we're not. Lil Kim has a bad case of the Lil Sister Syndrome of l8. She dropped a new mixtape (which btw she's charging $9.99 for, ummm Hey Bitch- Mixtapes Are Free[dom]) & it is totes ridden with "I can't deal with your fame, Minaj" jealousy. We're so not exxxagger8ing this time. Can you reek the beef?:

Black Friday is a thing already Kim, what are you, Canadian? But hey, we understand, Lil Kim was the pop-tit-princess and now BOOM all of the world became an ass man. Lil Kim just wants a lil attention. And her moves mite be cheap but she's still playing the game; we'll be in Barbados with our new BFFF Sir Huffington w8ing 4 Nicki 2 retali8 with a lil glitter and tonka. Please indulge in the sand piles with us...

a lil inspir8ion as u pak ur high-waisted bikinis!

Proud Mamas

Introducing the next generation of asymmetrical love muffins! Watch out because she's hit double digitz and we all know it's down-hill from there. This bitch has BSG quality written all over her back-up dancers. Notice the lung strength, the root exposure, the EZ pants, and the creepy boys lurking up above...it's basically our youth on tv all over again.

Thank you Ellen for wearing that amazing scarf... o and gud interview. Copyright that neckbrace because tweens all over America will snatch this idea up faster than a larder over a goat barn:

But hey Miss B, Willow's still a far second to Shaquita:

Here's 2 Stoopit!

SJP called and wanted to tell us about her weekend, this is what we learned:

BAD ART is now casting!

OMFG BSG is SO gonna win this year!

...and then there's this:

BROOKLYN AIR SEX CHAMPIONSHIP

where moaning becomes an art

Our choice song? Duh.

Get Ur FISH ON

THIS IS LIKE REALLY IMPORTANT INFORMATION 4 UR SEXUAL FUTUREAnd now here's some help 4 those hot Staycations on Rockastay...don't 4get 2 look us up when ur ridin that A train, BSG will be @ our new Rockaway TIME SHARE every weekend thru August. That's rite boygirls, TIME SHAREs are as hot as the leather on your vespa's seat rite now so you mite wanna think about boarding this boat because ur basically making enough ca$hmoney by buying a time share that you can and will get a boat.

a little pussy teasing, katy:



Talk about FUPA (fat upper pussy area, duh):

SPONTANEOUS BABYSKINGLOVE FOTO SHOOT 4 U:
Here's a quick vid we pulled off the Enquirer's website...it's soooooo 1994 when tabloids think that catching celebrities fall is embarassing, suckas!

Early 2xHoliday Special!

HEY GET LESS FAT NOW!

ONLY HALF OFF $29.95 PLUS SHIPPING!

ORDER YOURS & MAMA'S 2DAY!

The Endomorf Diliozome Workout from BabySkinGlove on Vimeo.

A Full length 16 minute workout video designed to help YOU burn cell matter and get into your summertime bloomers again. Consult Physician.

House of Style

It was so nice of MTV to come and film us in our natural state. You know hanging out in our lingerie, baking pies, smoking *cough* cigars, reading trashy magazines, taking photos of each others asses, and then going out on the town in our skivvies. It's so true to life that it's making me cry.

Also included is scenes from our resort retreat. Pretending to eat, frolicking in the surf, riding horses, laying on craggy rocks, bad weaves, nightly meditation sessions and all out dance parties. Oh MTV you really are relevant! Don't ever change.

Hello Sailor!

BSG knows how important it is to support our men in uniform. With Fleet Week going on we've been running from port to port letting them know how much they're appreciated.
Enjoy some video of a swinging little shindig I got myself into last night.



Helloo!!

BSG Ballet

Compagnie Marie Chouinard - bODY_rEMIX/gOLDBERG_vARIATIONS (2005)

I'm developing a real crush on this woman.

Momma said

Disco light Mommas:

Gams approved Momma's boys:

Momma said:

Momma also said:

Bon Jane

image courtesy of the NYTimes

Our lovely and talented Bon Jane's photo was in the Times' review of Marina Abramovic's; The Artist Is Present show currently at MOMA.
Congratulations!
xoxo

Performance Art Preserved, in the Flesh

Broad View

Just letting you all know that the diet is going great.

feeding frenzy